Precursory Maintenance: Yelling expletives at a problem before going about fixing it. It usually makes the problem 80% easier to fix.

This quote doesn't make sense:

"Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person."
- Ethel Mumford

It's weird. Is knowledge something you can "know"? I don't think so. You know something, it's knowledge. But you don't know knowledge. I guess it's data. You know facts, lies, or other things. They make up knowledge. If you learn everything that someone else knows, e.g. their knowledge, you have acquired all of their knowledge, but you still don't know knowledge! I was wondering why that quote sounded weird to me. Oh well.

"I have my cell phone and a full tank of gas.
I can meet you for lunch or whatever works best.
If it all goes as planned, we'll have a f@%#@ing blast.
Then go back to work and fall asleep at our desk."

The first two lines were in an actual email from me to Laura and Audrea at HCMI. I noticed they were very poetic, so I added to it :) It's like the best poem ever.

That's the new politically correct way to wish someone nothing but good times and good fortune during the time between Dec 24 to Jan 2. Copyright 2006 Jason Connell, of course.

I am off this week. And on Jan 2, I start a brand new job. I will probably be hanging out with Jim and Kate all week. It's gonna rock. I may need to eventually go out and get new clothes because this new job is one of those business casual places, and all I've been wearing to work for the past year or so is jeans with holes in them, T-shirts, sneakers, and the like. I like those places, but I know I'm going to like this new place also. Just like I loved working at Aramark even though I had to shave every day. That's the worst. Especially since I've devoted myself to making myself as low maintenance as possible lately.

For instance, I don't have to brush my hair anymore, since I've just about no hair. I've been looking at how one might never have to brush their teeth again, as well as shower. I'm sure it's possible through genetic manipulation, like how they make seedless watermelons. Of course, that won't benefit me :) There'd have to also be a supplement to help out those whose genetic code is already written... Stupid hard coded stuff... God should have made that configurable.

"Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes"

..."Or you can use Google" :)

The latin part was in someone's email signature. Look it up.

Multifantaskular -
adj. Describes someone who gets many things done in a short amount of time.
Use: That dude can program, write up specs, design a database and provide UML at the same time, he's multifantaskular.

© 2006 Jason Connell

I came up with that today. It can be something you say just to make people think you're weird, or funny, or both. As with any other saying I come up with, you must use the copyright information if you use it... e.g. "Alphabetical I in order speak. 2006 Connell Copyright Jason. w00t."

Also, a funny thing from work today. Rob and I were meeting three others at the lunch place, and we were in the left turning lane (Rob was driving), and this SEPTA bus coming from the other way was half way in our lane. We were talking about football, and as the bus drew closer, I slowed my words like "T.... O.... is .... gonna.... " and it passed by. I stopped what I was saying and said "Sorry, my life just flashed before my eyes." And Rob goes "Well, you'd probably be fine but I'd be screwed." To which I said "Your life just flashed before my eyes." HAHA.

Work's going good. It's like when I leave in the morning, I don't feel like I'm going to "work" per se, just going to hang out with a bunch of guys and girls who are my age and are cool and funny, and I happen to program there. But we have toys too.

Funny what comes up under "game" as synonyms on thesaurus.com.

Definition: entertainment
Synonyms: adventure, amusement, athletics, bingo, business, distraction, diversion, enterprise, festivity, follow-the-leader, frolic, fun, jest, joke, lark, line, merriment, merrymaking, nothing game, occupation, pastime, piddly, plan, play, proceeding, pursuit, recreation, romp, scheme, sport, sports, undertaking

So, that's all work is? A game? Jesus, if only I'd've found this out sooner...

When the day's not going great, or you're tired and you don't feel like expressing joy and adulation through yelling and dancing around, you can say "At least it's Friday". Soon, there may be reason to jump around, but you aren't really looking forward to it because it would take you more energy than you're willing to spare to even get your heartrate up to a point of excitement, even to relieve the dullness of the day, as it's going so far. Something may happen, though, to turn that ALI into TGI, hopefully before the F turns to an S, and, for the love of all that is good, before you encounter an M, specifically the FIMA (F@#%@ it's Monday already), also known as HSIOM (Holy s@#% it's only Monday), when another long week begins.

Other than that I feel great :)

sesquipedalian: (of words) long; having many syllables. (adjective)
noun:
A long word.

Used in a sentence : The word "sesquipedalian" is a sesquipedalian.

Man, I'm awesome. But, I don't know many sesquipedalians.

Here's a new one, to add on to my previous phrase. If you come across someone who knows everything, you can say this about them:

Like the bottom of an upside down cereal box, he/she has all the answers

There is a bit of confusion as to what the f^@#$%!@ I mean. And the bottom of an upside down cereal box is the top, but the cereal is not what matters here. I don't know what I'm saying. It probably has to be refined a bit, but when I was growing up, cereal boxes would have games on the back, and one type of game they would have would be a quiz. But, instead of making it impossible to know if you were right or wrong on certain questions, you would just flip the box upside down, and there, along the edge at the bottom (relatively, the top) were the answers.

I'll refine it. This is version 0.9 Beta.

Update: Hmm, maybe just
Like the bottom of a cereal box, he/she has all the answers.

I can't say Like the back of the cereal box because the quiz is also on the back. I guess I can say it though. It doesn't signify that they're upside down either. So, I'll say F@#%@# it, I give up. I'll call it Version 1.0 (Build 3).

Like the back of a cereal box, he/she has all the answers.

Make sure to add the © too!!! That's "© 2005 Jason Connell" in case you're wondering.

I never consider myself to be creative. But, sometimes I come up with stuff that I've never heard before. This doesn't mean that they haven't been said before, just that I've never heard them. Perhaps because of my stubborn tastes in music and movies, and my utter hatred for television. Sometimes, I manage to be creative. I came up with this:

"There like a dragon."

Get it?! A dragon lives in a lair! It's awesome. So, now when someone asks you, "Yo, we're going to the Flyers game tomorrow, and we have an extra ticket... wanna come?" You can say "I'm there like a dragon © 2005 Jason Connell". Of course, when I say it, I don't have to have the copyright stuff in there, so it will be cooler than when you say it. I can't help that.

Donovan McNabb recently said that the team would be "better off" without Terrell Owens, and right away, everyone jumps the gun and interprets him as saying that the team will be better without him? I don't see these two things as being the same.

Better: superior to another
Better Off: in a more fortunate or prosperous condition

More fortunate vs. Superior. Better compares two things, better off compares two instances of time and their conditions. Yes, the Eagles will be better off without T.O, and they might become better without him, but for right now, they are not better... but that's not what Donovan was saying anyway!! I hate the media and their need for controversy. It's like they have to misinterpret. Ratings. It sucks.

I sometimes goof up on words that are pretty close to each other in their pronunciation or spelling. Like these two: Tentative and Attentive. It's bad when I write an email and say "I'm not very tentative when talking on the phone and driving." It almost works out, if I hadn't negated it. Tentative, of course, means "under terms not final or fully worked out or agreed upon". It also means "doubtful; unsettled in mind or opinion". If I had written "I am tentative when talking on the phone and driving", then it might have seemed fine. I wrote this within a minute of waking up, my mind doesn't seem to grasp the concept of correct English, ever, and especially not when just waking up.

Greed n.
An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth.

I recently tore this definition a new A-hole. Put me in front of a dictionary full of cool words, and I'll have a field day. This one is particularly interesting because I basically proved it to mean the opposite of what everyone thinks it means.

The whole definition would have been dandy up to this point
An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs

But then it goes and adds
or deserves

I read that and thought, how can I tell you what I deserve? I can't, and I definitely can't tell you what YOU deserve. This makes the whole definition completely objective. Take, for instance, a CEO of one of the richest companies, who just wants the company to keep getting richer and richer, so their paycheck keeps getting bigger and bigger. I think that this person greedy. However, the whole deserves clause in the definition above makes this impossible to consider.

I can say, without anybody getting too upset, that everything that I have right now, I deserved. The $184.23 worth of my life savings, the guitars, computers, the car, clothes, everything I have. I deserve it since I worked for it and was able to afford it. Now, let me make this statement 10 years down the road. I deserve the $207.87 worth of life savings, the few extra guitars, more computers, same car, more clothes, everything I have. I deserve it since I had the means to acquire it. Fair enough?

Now, what about someone who can't afford these things. My buddy Doug used, as an example, a teenager who got knocked up and is working as a waitress for $3.50 / hr plus tips. Is it WRONG for them to want to be able to afford college? If they can't, do they DESERVE it?!

What I deserve in my life I will eventually acquire. Does the opposite hold, where if I don't acquire something, then it means I didn't deserve it? Surely, our waitress deserves the opportunity to give herself a better life. Our "greedy" CEO, who is in fact rich beyond any of our mental capacities, deserves everything he or she gained, through his or her hard work, education, and all that other good stuff.

To desire beyond that of which we deserve. By that definition, our waitress is the greedy one. If she cannot afford it, she won't acquire it. Since, what I am able to acquire, I can say I deserved, this waitress won't be able to acquire college education (our example), so we can argue that she didn't deserve it. Yet, she desires it. This is a perfect fit with the above definition of greed.

This is overly cruel, you might say. I'm just being philosophical :) Now, you ask the dictionary people if that's a fair definition of the word "greed".