Report from Afghanistan

My best friend Jim wrote me from Afghanistan yesterday. He's stationed there temporarily from England, where his wife Kate is going nuts alone! I chat with her nearly every day to keep her calm and sane.

The weather isn't terrible... freezing cold at night, nuclear hot during the day, instant sunburn type shit. We are 5000 above sea level here so the cold is colder and the hot is hotter here. It's nasty, the sun actually hurts when it's on your skin for more than about 5 minutes.
Plus we are taking Malaria pills that say "Avoid direct sunlight, causes skin to be extremely sensitive." Why is that the first time the medication has ever been right.

Damn. So basically we have a bunch of vampires out there in the desert, trying to avoid getting their blood sucked by mosquitoes.
The missile attacks are pretty fucking weird man. I literally felt that one rattle my ribcage that's how close it was. A few of my buddies were eating and the thing literally went over their head, they heard the whistle.

They've had sporadic attacks from unknown Taliban emplacements. One missile attack landed 100 yards away.

I asked who's there with him, and how well guarded is the place. From a previous email, I knew they were surrounded by a town that was anti-Taliban. Here's what he said about that:

Every branch except the Coast Guard is here. Every single person that wears a military uniform carries a gun at all times, loaded. A full out assault on this base is a flat out impossibility. We are all armed, even when we sit to eat and go to the shower. It's nuts. Plus there are a load of other countries here and they are all armed to the teeth as well.

And here's a no brainer:
I just got a new camera in the mail today so I have started taking pictures. I'm gonna have some good pictures when I get back, and some sweet videos. Hey, do you want a Flag that's been flown over a war zone? We can fly them and they make these cool certificates and frame it all up and whatnot. Don't worry about buyting it, I'll get one for you if you got somewhere you'd like to hang it.

Hell yeah I want a United States flag that's been flown in a warzone with a certificate.
I launched a jet yesterday that killed 24 Taliban motherfuckers. I got to watch the video and these poor bastards never stood a chance.

Ahh Technology. Jim's a crew chief who takes care of the jet and gives it the go ahead for whether it should fly or not. No decision goes past him. He also recently was promoted to Staff Sargent.

In a war zone, there's a certain limit about how long you can be indisposed. Either in the shower or bathroom, really. Sleeping can be instantly disturbed with a approximately placed missile launch, so really you're only indisposed in the shower or bathroom. Plus I guess out in the desert there's some water rationing going on...
And the three minute shower thing.... you get in, get wet, turn off water, apply soap and shampoo etc, rinse, get out. Not fun, I can't wait to get in a shower for like an hour and a half. anyways, gotta run, I'm at work. I will catch you later bro.

I told him I tried taking a three minute shower. I have yet to succeed. More to come later I'm sure.