This weekend was pretty fun. I'm exhausted. Friday, my brother went to the Phillies game and left me about half a case of Busch cans. I decided to forget about anything else and just hang out front and drink beer. I was hoping my neighbors would be hanging out too, and they were, so that was clutch. We had a good time. My cool neighbors were hanging out a bit, and they asked me to go downstairs and help them with their basement. They were putting in the floor. So of course, I stumbled on down the stairs, and found the only spot of the floor that had no tiles on it, only glue. So under their tiles are two big footprints of mine! I'm forever a part of their house ;-)

Saturday was a similar day. Video games in the morning. My brother cooked ribs, we hung out front with our neighbors, except I didn't drink. We ended up eating pretty much all weekend. Sunday, the same thing. We were beat so we went to bed at like 10. Well, my brother did, I was trying to find out what show I wanted to watch that could put me to sleep. I ended up staying up until 4am, with a 9:45 tee time the next morning. I watched "The Girl Next Door" which was pretty good. I also watched a movie called "Stealth" which was alright. It probably bombed at the box office because I had never heard of it, and it was available free on demand... a rare occurrence for a movie released last year. Basically, this advanced AI controlled airplane gets struck by lightning and ends up going bezerk and almost starting war on Russia.

Yesterday we went golfing. I sucked. The first few holes I was doing awesome, but then I think the heat got to me. It tends to when it's 958643 degrees Fahrenheit in the sunlight and 958642 in the shade. I ran out of my thirst quencher on the 13th hole, but really on the 8th, since after the 8th it was like hot cocoa. Not ideal for cooling someone down. I wasn't thirsty but man was I hot. Anyway, long story short, I played my best golf for the first 8 holes, then my absolute worst for the rest of the day. I'm talking about after 6 holes, I had 26, when a pro could probably have 21-23. My drives were straight, my approaches were right at it and landing on the green pretty close to the hole. I was on fire. I ended up with a 45 on the front. Yes, 26 in 6, 19 in 3. The main problem began when I looked at my score after 5. I used to do that on this course, since I played it when growing up. I would get 28 or 27 after 5 holes. Monday I had 21. Pretty much one over after 5. But I stink.

After golf we went to my brother's house for more barbecue. This morning I feel like death.

Seamus Michael Bygrave was born on Sunday, May 21, 2006 at 22:21 at Camp Lester Naval Hospital, Okinawa Japan. He weighed in at 7lbs. 2oz. and 21 inches long. And he looks just like his proud father :)

Delivery went well. Mom is doing great. Everyone is healthy and we are home now. Check out the pictures. There is only so many attached, but we will be getting the rest out very, very soon.

When we got home we discovered we had lost power at some point while we were gone, so if anyone did call, we're sorry we lost your messages.

Love to everyone!
Jim, Kate and Seamus



They will be back here in 6 months or so, and I can't wait to see the little guy. Congratulations!! He's adorable!

Looking at only the first half of my life, you would not expect me to be completely opposite for the second half of my life. Up until 14, I was playing sports, from baseball, basketball, football, street hockey, and some "Kill the Man" or some other "whole street" game that we came up with growing up on my street with kids in almost every house. I was active. I played video games back then too, so they're not really the cause for my reversal in activeness. Here is the cause: I am too competitive for team games.

Those little kid leagues where the coach will play every kid for the same amount of time were the only leagues I was in. There was no competition, it was only fun. However, having a huge competitive yearning, these weren't enough for me. I can't just go out and make myself better unless I'm competing. I love competing, and I love winning. Practicing is boring, but scrimmaging was awesome. My big sport growing up was soccer. I loved that, because our practices were scrimmages, mainly. We'd have some standard drills but they would just lead up to a 6 on 6 or something. During one year of soccer, I scored a few goals, and I scored in the All-Star game... as a HALF-BACK (or Mid-Fielder). It's usually the "strikers" that score.

So, practicing is not fun because there's no competition. I guess you have to make a little game out of it in order to make it fun, but I wasn't that creative. So, when I got to high school, I decided to give up on those sports because I wasn't interested in making myself better, and I didn't play anyways. Luckily, in 6th grade, I was introduced to a little game where the competition is built in, with no one else out there. Golf.

My love affair with golf really started, though, in 8th grade, when I had a paper route. Our local course, Kara Kung in Philadelphia, was $8 for a junior (under 17) to walk. So every time I went out collecting for the paper, I'd come back and stash $8 lumps in a sock in my drawer. Then I'd count it up and say "I can go golfing 12 times!!" On top of that, I'd watch golf all the time, my Dad subscribed me to Golf Illustrated, and I read tons of books. But I never practiced.

"You never practiced golf?!?! You must suck!" I do. But I love it. You can go out on a golf course and compete all by yourself. Because you're competing with yourself, and you're competing with the course. You can think back, "Last time I played this hole, I got a 6..." So your realistic immediate goal is a 5, but really you'd want a 1 :P It's just an incredible game.

But it's one of those games where you find that you haven't played in almost 3 months, or a year, sometimes when you think back. Time flies between rounds of golf.

Anyway, Zatko and I decide to go golfing on Saturday. I hadn't played since last summer, probably 7 months. I'm a bit rusty. And the first thing to go when you have a long lapse like that between rounds is your short game. You no longer have any idea how a ball off of a quarter swing pitching wedge placed in front of your back foot will react. Or how firm you have to hit it, or any putt that you come across. It's like you're retarded. However, the long game, I almost never lose. That's more like riding a bike than riding a bike to me. My first two shots were a drive into the fairway, and then a 7 iron onto the green. I three putted.

This is my best shot of the day. This dog-leg right... pretty steep right turn with trees hugging the whole fairway, and a driver will surely find its way into the back trees, and the trees on the right are high enough that it's a pretty bad call to try to get over them with a middle to long iron. I hit 4 iron and it hugs the right side. It's looking like path... indeed, it does that exaggeratedly high bounce off the cart path and gives me a few extra yards. I find my ball out there, but now it's a tough shot. It's about a foot off the right of the path, meaning I'll be standing on the cart path hitting this shot. I got about 115 yards to go, but yet another dilemma. The pin is directly over the middle of this huge bunker (sand trap for non golfers), situated right in front of the green. I'm like, "Well, better to try and fail then to lay up and not even guarantee a safe shot then..." So I take out my club, take my few very boring practice swings, and let it rip. The arch is beautiful. It's heading right at it. The lack of grip on my shoes made me slip a bit on the cart path, so I end up facing the fairway, where Zatko is standing. I didn't take my eye off the ball though. It starts its descension. It looks like God hit this ball, it's still dead on. I say to myself "Get over, you f@#%@er." I see it hit the ground... The impact of the landing made sand splash up. I'm like "F@#%@". But then I see it bounce. It hit the very top of the sand trap, the lip, where the happened to be sand, but it wasn't part of the sand trap! I look over at Zatko... he saw the whole thing. I put my arms up in victory and yell "I AM THE GREATEST GOLFER IN THE WORLD!!!" I got to the green and I had about a 12 foot putt ahead of me... or a 17 footer, a 4 footer and a one footer... but I managed to make that one, sealing my only birdie of the day.

Man it was fun. That kind of stuff, for a weekend golfer, is a rare occurrence. It makes it worth it though.

Zatko always walks the course, which I have no objections to. With my lack of activity in the last 6 years (I would go skiing and stuff, and in college there were a lot of hills and drinking games), it's good to walk the course every time. However, the first time out with golf shoes is a lesson in pain. By the third hole, I felt as if someone placed razor blades in the back of my shoes, and at the same time, used a salt / lemonjuice / gasoline mixture in them and set them on fire. However, I don't regret walking at all, even with my complete inability to move faster than 4 inches a second today. To ease some of the pain, I'd kick the ground pretty hard, shoving my toes into the one inch space at the front of the golf shoes, meanwhile slicing the sides of my toes, giving me about 4 seconds of relief before they slid back into place, bringing on the salted flaming razors with a twist of lemon sensation again. Luckily, we went back to the car after 9 and got my regular shoes. After that, I was fine. As you can imagine, my toes hurt today.

And I had so many three putts, that Zatko and I were taking an equal number of shots at me. We coined the term "A hard three-putt". That's one where anyone, ANYONE, who has even dreamt about one day playing golf should make in two putts or less. An easy three-putt is one with lots of twists and turns, or just great distance, or both. They're easy to three putt. I would say I three putted about 14 holes that day. And I ended up with a 90. 45 front, 45 back. Yes, 42 shots could have easily been 28. A 90 could have easily been a 76. Well, most likely not, since I always screw up at the end. I'm not sure exactly how many holes I three putted, so I'm not sure that I could have shot a 76. But just for a "for instance"... this one hole, par 3, over a lake of stagnant, malaria carrying mosquito filled water, I made it right on in one. I three putted. It's brutal.

So, if I am going to practice anything, it's going to be my putting, and it's going to be at Putt-Putt.

But, onto the other news!!

Jim and Kate had a Boy!!! Seamus Michael!!! I'll be posting pictures as soon as Kate's giganormous email makes its way from Japan. Congratulations Jim and Kate!!! I can't wait to see pictures :)

This is the story of Kate and Jim:

Jim met me in 4th grade. We became best friends. Jim met Kate in High School. They became best friends. Kate and Jason were then best friends by association, and later on, really became best friends. Later, Jim and Kate got married and left for Japan since Jim was in the Air Force and was stationed there. It's been almost 3 years. Now Jim and Kate are having a baby!

So, it's about "that time" now... it was also Jim's birthday on Sunday, and Mother's Day, which Kate now is a part of since she was like 9 months pregnant. If that doesn't qualify for Mother's Day blessings, then I don't know what does. So, I see Kate online this morning.

Me: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY ON SUNDAY :D Tell Jim I said happy birthday too... i'm old and forget things ;)

Kate: guess what...I think I am in labor YAYAYAYA

Me: HAHA you shouldn't be sitting in front of a computer then!! maybe laying in front of it...

Kate: no, this is good, trying to get it out. the sooner it comes out, the more time jim can have off from work

Me: jeez... "it" :)

Kate: sorry, the sooner Lilyann or Seamus comes out...

Me: I hope it's Lilyann. what about Batman?

(EDITOR: Jim wanted to name his first kid [probably a son] Batman, so that when people ask him "Who are you?" He can say "I'm Batman". It was hilARIOUS)

Kate: i vetoed it

Me: DOH! that was like, Jim's only wish and dream growing up

Kate: would you let someone name your kid something ridiculous like that. like Jem or Barbie or Cabbage Patch Kid

Me: not just someone... the father :P it's half of the decision making panel!

what was the middle name again? batman _____ bygrave

Kate: Batman Bicarboncabin Bygrave

Me: HAHAHAHAHA that's right!!!


I totally forget the story behind that middle name, but that's just f@#%@#ing GREAT. Jim, email me or post that here :)

So, pretty soon I'll be getting a phone call from Kate's parents, telling me everything about their new grandchild, and I'm certain that I'll be getting about a 400 GB email from Kate with pictures that are directly from the camera (2-4MB in size each) with no cropping or resizing, just like she always sends me, CC'd to 75 people. The internet screaches to a halt when Kate sends out an email ;-) I love you Kate!

More to come (I'm filing this under "Family" also, because obviously I will also be a new aunt/uncle depending on the sex ... oh wait, I'll only be a new Uncle!! Honorary of course)

Today is my Mom's birthday, and I got her something special, but don't tell her!! I was at the jewelry store, and upon checking out, the lady selling me the thing was like "Would you mind me asking how old you are?" I was like "*SHOCK* I don't like sharing my age!!!" Actually, I just told her "I'm three cubed." "27" Then she said "I was just wondering because my son is 22 and he doesn't get me S@#%@#!!! But I guess he's got a few more years to go." And I'm like "Well, maybe you aren't as good of a Mom as my Mom is!!! Take that B*@#$@!!!" And she's like "F@#%@! YOU LET'S STEP OUTSIDE F@#$%@#ER!!!" And I'm like "BRING IT!"

So, we went and fought, and she whooped my ass.

Update: My Mom didn't like what I got her. Well, actually, she liked it but she won't wear it. She is very ethnically aware, and ethnically "proud". Not in any way racist, but she won't wear an Italian trinket, which what I bought her turned out to be, when she doesn't have one ounce of Italian heritage. So I have to take it back and apologize to the lady and hope she will exchange it for another gift.

Update #2: I took back the thing and the same lady told me that it's not an Italian trinket, but would gladly exchange it with something since she thought that I let her whoop my ass yesterday, and came to terms with the fact that she wasn't a great mother. I comforted her and she cried for a little while. I got a small refund, since my Mom explicitly said she wanted hoop earrings with diamond-like things. Luckily, Mom doesn't mind cubic zerconia or whatever that word is. She'll like these new earrings.

My family does Pollyannas, and it turns out I have to buy a gift for my Mom. Don't worry, she won't read this. She browses the internet like I go to church... maybe twice a year.

Past gifts to Mom:
A tennis bracelet (most expensive one by far)...
A smoothy maker

I forget everything else. I like forgetting what I gave someone, so that if desperation arises, I can just give them the same gift again and plead ignorance (innocent ignorance). I'm kidding. I just don't remember that stuff.

Anyway, it's a $40 limit this year, which means I'll try to stay closer to it. It sucks having Mom as Pollyanna, because, in being your Mom generally means that she gets the best presents from everyone. Yet, the Pollyanna thing limits it, and yet still, you feel you are let off the hook of getting something elaborate by only spending the limit. However, you can't just spend the limit on your Mom. It's impossible. The limit, then, becomes a lot higher. But, I might get my Mom a tennis bracelet, and one of my brothers gets my Dad an 18 pack of golf balls and something else little. Surely, Dad needs them (actually, he's been better at finding misstruck golf balls ever since one of my brothers got him that machete for Christmas that one year), and bundled with another golf gift, like a glove or something, it's a great gift package. I wouldn't mind getting something like that (hint...). However, it shouldn't be compared to a tennis bracelet, because it's not only a Pollyanna gift. It was a moderately cheap one, though :)

But, the nice thing about that gift was that whenever someone sees that bracelet on my Mom, and compliments her on it, I hear about it, even years later! It's the gift that keeps on giving, and also to her!

I've been known to go all out on Christmas. I just like getting something for everyone, but it's hard now that I have like 7 new people in my family since 1998. It's part finance, and part ideas!! If I get one idea a year, I feel I've reached my quota, and can relax the rest of that year. Fourteen ideas is somewhat insurmountable. So, since the beginning of my working days when I was 16 (~1995) until the first of my brothers getting married (~1998), I've had money for exactly 3 great ideas for gifts in my immediate family. Not even half. Not cutting it. Without an idea, they could usually find a CD or a movie under the tree from me.

I need ideas for this year. Anything. Try to stay under $40 though, since you wouldn't want me to have to sell this website to some other Jason T. Connell, now, would you? The target market is maybe 2 other people, so it would be tough, but I'll do it!

I just got home from the GAP in Conshohocken (Conshy). We went out to the diner just up the street for a nice 1:30 AM meal. This has been a fun week.

Work's going OK. Nothing too much to brag about, but it's fun. I have my routine set. Get in before 9, grab coffee, work til I run out of coffee, get more, repeat until lunch. Then I get a 20 oz soda, go to the bathroom a few times, finish the soda then get more coffee around 3pm and again at 4pm. By this time, I'm getting so much work done from all the caffeine, it's like the caffeine is programming. I love that quote from that guy about mathematicians, but I translate it into Computer Scientists

A Computer Scientist is a device for turning coffee into software.

The real quote is

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

Good stuff. So, I get home from work at around 6:45 or so, grab some food, and either watch a game (Flyers, Sixers, etc), or head up to my room to play video games. Like, lately, Zatko and I have been playing Civilization IV. It's awesome. Wednesday, my friends were going out, but so was damn near everyone else in the Philadelphia area, as well as the police. I felt like staying in, so Bean came over, and we all watched some movies. I woke up at like 9am the next morning, thinking I had to be in work. I always think that, there's no getting around it. Even when I was off for a month, it took me until three weeks into it to realize that I don't have to be in work. Of course, by that time, I was interviewing at 9am in places like Wilmington and up in Wayne, which are good 40 minute drives, so I had better wake up.

That brings up something about me. I never panic. Unless I'm waking up and I think I have to be in work. That's the only time. It saves me a lot of embarrassment, and sometimes my life. Like, this one time, I was at a bar, and we were all out on the deck, which had a bar. There were all these girls out there, and it was the middle of the summer. My friend's girlfriend looks at me and says "Yo, there's this huge ugly bug crawling up your sleeve." I look, and sure enough there's a huge ugly bug crawling up my sleeve, and is now up to my shoulder. Do I panic and scream like a girl in front of a lot of girls, only to embarrass myself? Nope. I'm cool like the other side of the pillow. Slowly, I move my hand up to it, held my middle finger to my thumb, increasing torque, then flicked that thing into the cheap seats.

Then, another time, I'm driving up Route 202 in the left lane, near Frasier, and all the sudden, about 20 feet after a bush, I see a car coming across the median. I'm like, "They'll stop." It's raining, the grass on the median is wet, the road is wet, and I had just put out a cigarette. I get to like 4 feet away from her and say to myself, "They're not stopping." There are cars all around me, and on my right. If I panic, I definitely hit someone on my right side, causing a multiple car accident. Do I panic? Nope. I take the hit, glass shatters all over me, I do a 270 degree turn without changing lanes (because the road was wet). I end up about a foot from oncoming traffic. God rewards the non-panic stricken. I had just bought a coffee about 15 minutes before. I look in my coffee holder, it's not there. So, I try to get out of my car. The driver side door won't open. So, I climb across the seat, and there's my coffee... topside down, but the lid stayed on, and hardly any coffee came out! It was marvelous. I sat on the hood of my broken car, drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette until the fire trucks and police came. I had no injuries, save for a few small cuts from the glass on my left hand. The only time I almost panicked was when I thought I had lost my coffee :)

That's an old story though, that happened in February, 2003, 5 months after I got the darn car. I still have it though.



This might turn into a long post. Go get some coffee.

So, Thanksgiving Day. We head to Steve and Patty's house. There's like 15 Connells there. 8 including my brothers and parents, 2 nieces and 3 nephews, one great-Aunt and one Aunt. After dinner, I was beat. Kira, Caden and Ethan were watching movies upstairs, I thought I'd join them. They all have their seats set up about 5 feet from this TV, so I lay down on my stomach right in front of their chairs. About 4 minutes later, I have kids jumping on me, sitting on me, laying on me, and pretty much beating me up. This continued through most of Scooby Doo 2.

After Thanksgiving dinner, we went back home. I drove, and I had some brothers in my car. Jeff, Pat and Bean. We listened to the last few minutes of the Denver / Dallas game on the radio, and went to rent some movies. We ended up getting Batman Begins and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... the new one with Johnny Depp. Those were both great movies. Batman Begins was up there in the Batman saga, and I'd have to say it was AWESOME.

Friday morning. I told Bean, for his birthday, that I'd put a few pennies towards an iPod for him. So, we head out, grab some coffee and head to MicroCenter. They ran out of the 30GB iPods... and pretty much all other models. They only had the 2GB iPod Nano! 500 songs?!? Yeah, right. I ended up buying a MIDI Piano for myself though. We'll get the iPod soon. And I'll be recording more songs pretty soon with that purchase.

We got back by noon and watched the Flyers. Jeff and I are pretty much addicted to the Flyers now. When they're on OLN (Outdoor Life Network), we can't watch because we subscribe to RCN, and OLN is only on Comcast. We are in both companies' ranges, but RCN has 10GB cable internet, so it was the obvious choice when we chose it, back when OLN didn't get a few Flyers games. It was before we knew that the NHL's season was in dire straights. But, we can deal, there's only like 9 games on OLN the entire season.

I'm getting tired.... really tired.

Tonight, I went out to the GAP. I got there and it was packed. There was a reunion or something and they reserved two of the big rooms. I hate that. Literally elbow to elbow in the only room open to everyone. So, we had like 4 beers, and decided to go to the diner. I got French toast. Gia got this giant omelette, which I joked was like eight-tenths of her body weight. I said "You can't finish that." And she said "What will you give me if I do?" So, I said, "I'll give you props." Seeing the look of disgust on her face from only being offered "props", I quickly followed with, "Alright, Mad Props." I told her I would give them to her on my website... so:

Mad Props Gia

We all joke around a lot, so it's always a really good time. Til next week, dudes :)

After a few cups of coffee, french toast, and a knee slapping good time, I took off for Drexel Hill. I plugged in my piano to my Mac Mini, tried it out for a few minutes, then decided I'm gonna just throw on an X-Files episode or two and hit the sack. Still a whole other late night left in this weekend, I'm going to take full advantage.

This one's just an honorary Uncle position. Jim and Kate are HAVING A BABY!!!!!! Don't believe me?!?? Check this picture out...

Unless Kate swallowed a doll or some other baby shaped thing, I'd say she's having a baby!! So, congratulations are in order, you can congratulate me in the comments :) Oh, yeah, I guess you can also congratulate Jim and Kate on their website. I think they have a forum... I sorta remember writing one for them :)

Yesterday was my Aunt Cubbie's 65th birthday. We all went to Drexelbrook to hold a surprise party for this wonderful lady who is always whereever you would least expect her to be, like at your sporting events growing up, or every party you've ever had, who never forgets your birthday, who helps raise your kids if you're lucky enough to have any, and a number of other comments from everyone else in the room who had a story or a thank you for her and got the microphone from my Uncle Dave.

There was a DJ, and he played decent music, and some Sinatra, which I never object to. He also sang. He was pretty good. He played Mony Mony, and I found out that you can do the E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!! chant to it during the chords played after such lines as "Here she comes now saying Mony Mony". It fits perfectly. I started it, Steve noticed, then everyone at our table, the lucky number three, joined in during the next two verses. It was awesome.

We all walked out at the same time, me and my five brothers, when everyone else was in a circle on the dance floor, thirty to forty people, holding hands, dancing to "That's what friends are for." We figured it was time to go. It was almost 4 o'clock, the Eagles start at 4:15. We are studs. We all practically ran to our cars. We all would meet at The Beast's house, a shrine to the Eagles. Everywhere you look, there's a picture of an Eagles' player, or a football, or a PlayStation2 controller, lots of Eagles stuff.

The argument started after the Cowgirls' second touchdown. He dove out of bounds and reached across the goal line out of bounds, the ball seemingly never crossing the plane of the endzone, marked by the pylon, in bounds. It was ruled a touchdown. It was a big argument! It was fun though. I was watching for cops because I had about 5 Yuengling bottles, a Heineken bottle, and 2 Yuengling cans all day, I was feeling pretty good, yet somehow I manage to come up with some help for the argument. It was Steve, me, and the Dallas fan (Kel) vs. everyone else. It wasn't anti-Eagles or pro-Dallas, it was just football. My evidence came in this form... If you are running down the sideline, holding the ball over the out of bounds, you are not considered out of bounds. If your feet leave the field, then, all it takes for you to be out of bounds is your feet or the ball touching the ground out of bounds. Therefore, diving out of bounds, crossing the plane of the endzone is a touchdown. Steve argued that the pylon either marks the endzone straight up to infinity or the endzone goes all the way around the world. He knew the rules, and knew that it goes all the way around the world, and brought up a website on Beast's computer, owned and maintained by a former NFL Referee, that proved his point.

The others felt more like yelling. I have to admit, yelling is fun when you're drunk, especially doing the EAGLES chant during Mony Mony and on the way out of a party with all five of your brothers. Steve was willing to take back the bets. He had bet $20 with Pat and also with The Beast. He was saying "Are you sure you want to bet me? I'll let you take it back now, if you want, before it's proven and you'll owe me." I don't know if he was showing uncertainty or just being nice. Actually, I do know, he was being nice.

It was pretty funny. Steve soon became known as Pylon and some variants like Pylon boy. If there's one thing that my family is really good at, it's giving people nicknames. Not me though, although I do have some notoriety in the field. My brother Pat is named "Patter" because of me not being able to say his full name, Patrick, when my Mom introduced him to me when they brought him home from the hospital. I was 2, give me a break. Also, my brother Jeff lost one of his teeth when he was 11, playing hockey. So he's had a replacement ever since. He loses it sometimes, and the last time, very recently, he was going to have a temporary replacement until the real tooth came in. It was made out of porcelain! I came up with "Toilet Tooth" :) It never stuck though. Scott is the master nicknamer. The Beast is The Beast because of Scott. There are plenty others, like Stork, who was watching with us yesterday.

It was a great time. I woke up at around noon, and by 1:30 I was feeling pretty good. The dedication to my Aunt was great, she deserves it, and a whole lot more.

Beaner and I were joking around tonight, thinking "What if Kodie thought we were stupid?" We call her stupid all the time. A little background info here : Kodie's a dog. Her full name is Kodiak Shadow Von Bosh. Jeff couldn't just slap "Connell" on the end of that, but he did give her the names "Kodiak Shadow" which is cool. But don't let that fool you, she's still stupid.

Anyway, I've been listening to Mitch Hedberg a LOT lately, and I love his style of comedy, rest his soul... So Beaner and I came up with Mitch style jokes to cover Kodie's normal routines that we call stupid, but then I came up with a bunch more:

• I chase, and bark at, my tail to display my superior intelligence.
• Whenever the doorbell rings on the television, I always bark at our front door, yet you guys never answer it. You guys are so stupid. You guys always yell at me that we don't even have a doorbell, yet I can hear it plain as day.
• I will run to indefinite confinement for a treat, because treats are better than being in a cage all day.
• I always lock myself in Jason's room, but only because there's a lot of neat stuff in there
• I get really excited when Jason says "Kodie, wanna watch the Phillies?!!" in a really excited way. I love the Phillies and know exactly what he means.
• Whenever someone knocks, they are never welcome in our house, I'll make sure of it.
• I frequently stumble up the stairs because their builders were racist against cute little dogs like me. It's not because I'm overly excited and just don't watch where I'm going. You guys have no right to laugh and call me stupid.
• I bark at dogs out front that can't hear me.
• There is never reason to doubt that I will get a piece of that delicious looking sirloin sitting on your plate.
• If you don't pet me, you're scum and I will bite you and bark at you until you resume petting. B#@%@#!!
• I like sitting by the door, acting like I have to go to the bathroom, then when you guys open the door to let me out, I still sit there. You guys fall for it every time.

Well, it's official : I'm hung over. Another thing you might call official is that I work in an office. You can't get any more official than being an office dweller.

So, it's Friday, July 22nd, 2005. Today is a remarkable day, since only yesterday, my family welcomed its 5th (!) child in almost as many years! Welcome, Meghan Catherine Connell born to Scott and Nikki!! 7 lbs 5 oz, human, 10 toes, 10 fingers, one cute baby. I saw pictures but I haven't seen her in person yet. I have a knack for not seeing my nieces on their day of birth. When Kira was born, I was in college. However, when Caden and Ethan were born, I was right there, hanging out with Patty for a week to make sure she didn't try to clean the place. They were 10 weeks premature, weighing in at 3 lbs 4 oz and 1 lb 12 oz respectably. When Danny was born, I was there a few minutes after, and for a few hours in all. Now, Meghan was born, and I wasn't there. I'll be by tonight, bet on it. One cool extra thing about having another niece is that before I would have to say "My niece and nephews are coming over", when so many times I just wanted to say "My nieces and nephews are coming over." I finally don't have to worry about that anymore.

Another reason to celebrate last night was that I received an offer letter from the business that I've been a contractor at for the last 3 months! I am the bomb afterall.

There was almost a ruling that cable lines used for high speed internet are open lines, and any company can provide internet access on them. I'm happy with my service provider, they keep raising the bar. I get 10Mbps, which is enough for browsing the web, streaming a video, playing a game, and streaming radio stations on 4 computers and still have room left over for more ;) Read the article.

Last night's performance by my little brother, Beaner, was a smashing success. I created 13 videos of them performing. (There is a problem with the download page. It'll be fixed tomorrow, but in the meantime, download a file, click back on "downloads" when you're done, click another category and go back to the one you want to download from, then it should be fine.) The songs that Beaner performs are all copyrighted 2005 Brendan Connell. You can't make out what he's singing anyway, but just don't be a @#%@^@$@ and steal his very creative, very good music. He put his heart and soul into the creation of every one of them, and puts his heart and soul into each one's performance. I also have 20 pictures for your viewing pleasure, including a few of me.

I knew this would catch up with me. Every $@#%@^ time when the train is about to leave, you hear the computer voice say "Doors are closing", at which point, anyone trying to get on the train goes into a mad rush for the door. Some people make it. Others don't. This one guy kicked the door of the car that I was in. Other people seem a bit less defeated. They look up at the ceiling, sigh, and sit there and wait for the next train. These are the most entertaining 5 seconds of my day. So, today, guess who's at the top of the stairs at 69th Street terminal when the conductor says "Watch the doors, watch the doors." Yes. Me. At that point, I stepped down the first step or two without looking, only to find the janitor @#%@#^^#! sweeping the stairs, taking up the whole width of that stairwell. So I go back up the two stairs, and go down the left side. At about the 3rd step down, the computer voice comes on "Doors are closing." @$%&@$!!!! I continue running down the stairs, in the dire hopes that someone's head gets caught in the automatic doors, rendering them incapable of closing. It's not a huge stairwell, maybe 15 stairs, but that seems like eternity when you have about 2 seconds to get to the doors. At the bottom of the stairs, I was so panicked. It took all of my strength and self control to not scream like a girl. I turn and look at the closest door to me. This couple was trying to get in, so they stopped the doors from closing, but I knew there would only be a small window for escape. The doors opened all the way and started closing right away. I would have dove, but by this point I was through without even letting the door hit me on the butt. I was so slick. Thank God I didn't scream like a girl. If I had and still made it, I would be getting some weird looks.

More site updates coming soon.

Beaner, my little brother of 18 years, will be performing live at Casey's Saloon in Drexel Hill on Sunday, June 26th. Please excuse their website, someone retarded wrote it :p

Also, he recently got his license so my best advice would be to stay off the roads for a few months. When he gets his car, I'll post a picture of it so when you see it, it will be synonymous with seeing your life flashing before your eyes. Nowadays, you can watch him run over curbs in one of my parents' cars, either an Altima or some kind of Acura. It's just safer to stay off the road. If you see other cars turning, just turn. The same kid who thought he could take pictures of himself on MY CAMERA and expect me to NOT post them on the internet is on the road ahead of you. You are forewarned.

Other than that, you know, he's a good kid who sleeps over here on the weekends, drinks all of our Pepsi and eats all of our food... he's no dummy. I'm kidding Bean :)

There is a movie up from Father's Day, and there are also a few pictures. Check Downloads and Pictures for the latest.

My Mom turned 36 (give or take a few years) on Tuesday, April 19. Actually, I don't know how old she is. She could pass for 36 though. I've seen 40 year old women who look much older than my Mom. Her secret is stay out of the sun! I don't think I've ever seen her tan or sunburned.