Today is my Mom's birthday, and I got her something special, but don't tell her!! I was at the jewelry store, and upon checking out, the lady selling me the thing was like "Would you mind me asking how old you are?" I was like "*SHOCK* I don't like sharing my age!!!" Actually, I just told her "I'm three cubed." "27" Then she said "I was just wondering because my son is 22 and he doesn't get me S@#%@#!!! But I guess he's got a few more years to go." And I'm like "Well, maybe you aren't as good of a Mom as my Mom is!!! Take that B*@#$@!!!" And she's like "F@#%@! YOU LET'S STEP OUTSIDE F@#$%@#ER!!!" And I'm like "BRING IT!"

So, we went and fought, and she whooped my ass.

Update: My Mom didn't like what I got her. Well, actually, she liked it but she won't wear it. She is very ethnically aware, and ethnically "proud". Not in any way racist, but she won't wear an Italian trinket, which what I bought her turned out to be, when she doesn't have one ounce of Italian heritage. So I have to take it back and apologize to the lady and hope she will exchange it for another gift.

Update #2: I took back the thing and the same lady told me that it's not an Italian trinket, but would gladly exchange it with something since she thought that I let her whoop my ass yesterday, and came to terms with the fact that she wasn't a great mother. I comforted her and she cried for a little while. I got a small refund, since my Mom explicitly said she wanted hoop earrings with diamond-like things. Luckily, Mom doesn't mind cubic zerconia or whatever that word is. She'll like these new earrings.