With some luck, this web page will be running on a new backend in a week or two. While I do find it easier now that I don't have to write ANY SQL to update, insert, delete, or get objects from the database, or create the tables for those objects, I am incredibly lazy, and don't want to have to build many of the web pages that I build when adding a new object type. It's a pain and a waste of time since they all do the same stuff, just with different types of data. Being a programmer in every sense of the word (the good programmers tend to be very good due to incredible laziness, their laziness drives them to think creatively. If I can do a task once that will eliminate a repetitive task later, you could bet the house that I'm going to do it), I decided that the current website is just not easy enough to extend or even maintain. I'll be testing this new software out on my new site, stringed.org, which was named because of my love of stringed instruments and classical music sometimes (coincidentally, stringed.com was going for over $1500). It will be my software showcase.

It's one of the more sporadic news entries, I just need to get to work on this stuff because it's a challenge, therefore FUN :) Geek me up in the comments.

Greed n.
An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth.

I recently tore this definition a new A-hole. Put me in front of a dictionary full of cool words, and I'll have a field day. This one is particularly interesting because I basically proved it to mean the opposite of what everyone thinks it means.

The whole definition would have been dandy up to this point
An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs

But then it goes and adds
or deserves

I read that and thought, how can I tell you what I deserve? I can't, and I definitely can't tell you what YOU deserve. This makes the whole definition completely objective. Take, for instance, a CEO of one of the richest companies, who just wants the company to keep getting richer and richer, so their paycheck keeps getting bigger and bigger. I think that this person greedy. However, the whole deserves clause in the definition above makes this impossible to consider.

I can say, without anybody getting too upset, that everything that I have right now, I deserved. The $184.23 worth of my life savings, the guitars, computers, the car, clothes, everything I have. I deserve it since I worked for it and was able to afford it. Now, let me make this statement 10 years down the road. I deserve the $207.87 worth of life savings, the few extra guitars, more computers, same car, more clothes, everything I have. I deserve it since I had the means to acquire it. Fair enough?

Now, what about someone who can't afford these things. My buddy Doug used, as an example, a teenager who got knocked up and is working as a waitress for $3.50 / hr plus tips. Is it WRONG for them to want to be able to afford college? If they can't, do they DESERVE it?!

What I deserve in my life I will eventually acquire. Does the opposite hold, where if I don't acquire something, then it means I didn't deserve it? Surely, our waitress deserves the opportunity to give herself a better life. Our "greedy" CEO, who is in fact rich beyond any of our mental capacities, deserves everything he or she gained, through his or her hard work, education, and all that other good stuff.

To desire beyond that of which we deserve. By that definition, our waitress is the greedy one. If she cannot afford it, she won't acquire it. Since, what I am able to acquire, I can say I deserved, this waitress won't be able to acquire college education (our example), so we can argue that she didn't deserve it. Yet, she desires it. This is a perfect fit with the above definition of greed.

This is overly cruel, you might say. I'm just being philosophical :) Now, you ask the dictionary people if that's a fair definition of the word "greed".

I will bet you I've seen the movie "Contact" more times than you. I have an unhealthy addiction. I pop that sucker in whenever I'm about to go to bed because it's slow moving. Usually, by the time Ellie is drinking a beer with Palmer Joss, I'd be sound asleep. This is no longer the case. I stay up, get all into it and s@#%, saying stuff like "OH MAN, How are they going to contact aliens NOW?!?!" or "That Drumlin guy is such a dick!" or my favorite "Man, Haddon is one rich motherf#@@#%@er." And I always laugh at Haddon's quote "First rule of government spending: Why build one, when you can have two at twice the price?" I am not sick of it yet.

However, on rare nights where I do want to watch something else, there are only two movies in the whole world that might take the place of Contact. Rounders and Shawshank Redemption. Rounders for its obvious "poker" theme. If it's not obvious that it's about poker, you have to watch it again. Shawshank Redemption for its slow moving-ness, to put me to sleep like a drunken old man. They are both great movies.

I used to have a quotes section on my old website where I could just put in hysterical stuff that I said. This would make an immediate addition:

"Friday's coming like there's no tomorrow."

Oh man, I kill me.

(It has to be said on a Thursday. And if you're not familiar with the "like there's no tomorrow" saying, it's similar to these other ones:

That dude downs those hamburgers like it's his job!
That girl slam dunks like nobody's business!

These are just clever alternatives to these:

That dude downs those hamburgers!
That girl slam dunks!

As you can see, saying something with more words in it is funnier.)

Some of the quotes I had on there were really stupid, but my comedic abilities have obviously grown significantly. I can now think of dumb random s@#%@ in no time flat, and it'll usually be pretty funny to me. And because you visit my site, you would have to endure it, suckers. I'll add that as a to do item.

Beaner and I were joking around tonight, thinking "What if Kodie thought we were stupid?" We call her stupid all the time. A little background info here : Kodie's a dog. Her full name is Kodiak Shadow Von Bosh. Jeff couldn't just slap "Connell" on the end of that, but he did give her the names "Kodiak Shadow" which is cool. But don't let that fool you, she's still stupid.

Anyway, I've been listening to Mitch Hedberg a LOT lately, and I love his style of comedy, rest his soul... So Beaner and I came up with Mitch style jokes to cover Kodie's normal routines that we call stupid, but then I came up with a bunch more:

• I chase, and bark at, my tail to display my superior intelligence.
• Whenever the doorbell rings on the television, I always bark at our front door, yet you guys never answer it. You guys are so stupid. You guys always yell at me that we don't even have a doorbell, yet I can hear it plain as day.
• I will run to indefinite confinement for a treat, because treats are better than being in a cage all day.
• I always lock myself in Jason's room, but only because there's a lot of neat stuff in there
• I get really excited when Jason says "Kodie, wanna watch the Phillies?!!" in a really excited way. I love the Phillies and know exactly what he means.
• Whenever someone knocks, they are never welcome in our house, I'll make sure of it.
• I frequently stumble up the stairs because their builders were racist against cute little dogs like me. It's not because I'm overly excited and just don't watch where I'm going. You guys have no right to laugh and call me stupid.
• I bark at dogs out front that can't hear me.
• There is never reason to doubt that I will get a piece of that delicious looking sirloin sitting on your plate.
• If you don't pet me, you're scum and I will bite you and bark at you until you resume petting. B#@%@#!!
• I like sitting by the door, acting like I have to go to the bathroom, then when you guys open the door to let me out, I still sit there. You guys fall for it every time.

Thanks, everyone, for coming to the game on Saturday. I usually judge how successful a party is by how sunburnt I am, how little I remember of it, and how much money I have left in my wallet. The wallet one is usually a shock, like "I spent $80 last night?!!?" but never have I had more money than I started with, so that made it extra successful :) If anyone got too wasted (I won't point fingers) then please forgive them, for they know not what they do after many, many beers, and not drinking that much just might not be an option for them during this stage of their life. Don't get too angry, I am talking about me, so don't be like "what a DICK!!! he drank more than me!!" :) I got home that night, ate some wawa (thanks Tom!) and turned on the news because I wondered how the Phillies did that day.

So, thank your guests for me if they aren't on this email. I hope everyone had as good a time as me, and I hope we can do it again soon.

Love Always,

Jason

Yes, I said "Love Always". And NO ONE said anything about it! I was expecting a "awww, I love you too" or "dude, you're never coming out with us again..." Something. I had to mention it to someone and she had "figured you just must be an emotional type of guy...really emotional". Oh well, it was fun :) I had way too many beers that day, but I sent that email on Monday, so they had to figure it was not from the alcohol, right?! Unless I was bombed at 11 am on a MONDAY. On the first day of my New JOB!? I don't care that I only waited 8 hours before pointing out the error in their ways. They still should have checked their email and responded to me right away, putting every bit of the email under intense scrutiny. As if they have more important things to do with their lives.

We were at a Phillies game and I did wonder how they did when I got home. It wasn't really from the beer, we got in the game at around the 5th inning, got to our seats, and then a few people went to get cheesesteaks. I didn't get back to my seat until the 7th or 8th inning, and before I knew it, it was over. What a blast!

[Later on...] Ahh, the glorious jokes that come out of mistypings and misspellings:

Tom: I won't tell a sole
Me : i'm glad you won't tell any shoes
Tom: shut up

Or just quality humor about drinking...

Me : i like lyrical humor, but i can't get it out when i'm drinking. i can hardly form words, let alone think of long words to say